I've been kind of down lately. I've been thinking about what I want to be and how I'm not even close of being a part of the way there. I have so many ideas of what I want to do and I feel like I'm holding myself back. I've also been wanting people to truly understand me. My roommate knows everything and understand where I come from. I wish I had more people like him around.
I made this a while back and I haven't had the time to post it on my site. I got bored one night and wanted to write a poem about attention and stuff. I asked Chris to give me some pointers and he helped out a bit.
I was watching the new Dexter episode and I got this idea. I love Dexter so much. Other then that, I've been working my but off and I have gotten a few days off of work for the first time in a long time. So, I've been relaxing and chilling like a villain.
I've started working at Pac-Sun as a Key Holder. I have to take a test to make sure I know what I am doing then I will be given my store keys. The person that should be giving me the test hasn't given it to me yet, so I haven't got me keys. I'm MAD! For the past few days I've been yelling out "Where are my keys? I want my keys!". Anyways, yesterday I was wearing my beanie my girlfriend gave me and ask if it was ok to wear on the sales floor. They said no but they didn't care, so I tried on a couple of hats and this one suited me best. I like it.
I was heading home after work and there it was, laying on the ground. It's my last name, Parker Bleu Roe. I have no clue that this means but whatever. I like it. <3
So, just now I put my album on last.fm. I'm so pumped. I'm the only one that is listening to my album, but it's there for all to see that I am an artist.
So, I've been drawing a lot lately. I don't really know why, but maybe it has to do with what I have been seeing. I guess I've been to many skinny girls in the art I've been viewing and if you know me I'm a chubby chaser. I love my cute chubby girls. So, I've been drawing a lot of women. Trying to get the figure down so I can draw a lot of chubby women. Also, I think women are beautiful and it's ok to have a few extra pounds. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really want to draw chubby girls so women will see that you can be big and proud of it. <3
So, I've been up all night chatting with The Girlfriend and after that I drew this just to see what I could draw. I like it, it's a totally new style for me. Hope you like it. I used digital Oil Pastels for this.
I have just downloaded Corel Painter 12 and I must say, I really like it. It's a lot better then 11, but again my computer isn't all that great. Anyways, last night and tonight I've been working on this weird alien thing. I kind of like it. I finally finished a painting and it looks ok. I'm happy with it but I know I can do better in the future.
It's been years since I have sung and recorded it. I really hate how I can never play with a singer, so I have started to work on my vocals once again. This is probably my 20th time I've done this, but I tried something different this time around. I have downloaded a audio book for vocal lessons. It's something like Singing On The Go. Something cheesy like that. Last night I was doing some of the lessons and picked out my range. That has been the hardest thing for me. I could never really find my singing range. Well, last night I finally found it. So knowing this new great range, I began to re-learn Time of Your Life by Green Day. It's a easy song to sing and I know it by heart-ish. Anyways, I put on my capo to change the key of the song that suited best for my range.
This is the first take I sang and really the only good one out of the 10 I recorded. The singing isn't all that great. I can't hit the notes straight on. I can bend up to it and hit it, but I can't singing it like how it should be sung. Anyways, I do hope to do more of these little covers and work on my singing again. I do love writing songs and hate that I can never have a singer sing them. So, I'm giving it another try.
My therapist has recommended this book called "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. It's a self help book to help you be more creative in life. It's been about a week and I found the book and been working through it. It's really great and it's been helping me out in little things. The image above is a contract in the book and I wanted to sign it, kind of add it to my art portfolio.
I was on /b/ a couple of months ago and I came across this pic.
Template.
I really liked the idea so I made the art on the top of the post showing how much I've changed over the Twelve years. I also found another pic of the same idea, but besides growing up. You draw your dream husband or wife. I may also do that as well, but not sure.
Don't get my wrong. I love my parents and I'm happy they were able to divorce and work together without killing each other. But, there is this weird feeling I get when I look at the photos of my parents. More happy then sad. Maybe it's because they look like punk rockers and I think that's so cool. I can tell all my friends that I had kick ass parents and even had a short lived band together. My Dad has guitar and vocals while my Mom played drums. Totally "White Stripes". By the way, I love The White Stripes. So, maybe I picture my parents playing songs like The White Stripes and that's why I love these two pictures of my Mom and Dad.
WE HAVE A WEB COMIC ABOUT OUR SUPER DUPER AWESOME GAY FRIENDSHIP!!!
I finally finished the first strip to the Root Beer & Bromos comic that Chris and I have started together. I have two more strips to draw up that Chris has given me.
Sorry for the simpleness to the drawing, but I really get caught up in what it should look like. I tend to make things more pretty and spend tons of time doing it. So, simple means less time and more time drawing our inside jokes. I will probably set up a new site to make it more like a web comic type thing that I've seen. But, I don't know right now. Blogging is doing fine for me, so meh.
Also, Mazy the Cat has a special debut in this comic. It isn't cannon but It's a running joke with me that I can magically turn into a cat. Chris says how when I made Mazy the Cat, I was basing it off of me and I am Mazy the Cat. I don't really agree with it, but again I don't disagree either. I don't know I just love cats and I made Mazy.
I've been playing Pokémon Black for a while and thought of my very first Pokémon. It was Charmander when I first played the Red version back in the day. I called him Fire for some odd kid like reason. I haven't played it since the Yellow version. So when Chris and I started Pokémon after years from playing it, I had to start with Tepig. Chris started with Oshawott, but I can still kick his ass.
Ever since my ex-girlfriend cheated on me, I have had a tough time of letting go and moving on. I repeatedly do think about that night when I found out she cheated on me.
She came home drunk as she always did but this time it was with a guy friend I never liked. Another druggy and drunk friend from her past. She told me to go sleep at my Aunts and Uncles place down the road. I refused and she went back out to hang out with her friend.
They began to smoke some pot and make out. I came out and they guy got up in my face telling me how I never provide for her and how he could do better then me. He also didn't have a job and wasn't really looking. I don't think with his record and drug habits he would ever get a job and not run the risk of getting stabbed by a Mexican Gang.
He punched me and the person I am, I broke down crying and yelling at my ex blaming her. Just a little background of why I broke down and started to cry. When I was in school I would always get picked on. I was home schooled for two years because it go so bad, I would beat up my bullies in class. During that time I learned I could bypass the fighting by just laughing it off. I never liked to fight and I found a way to not fight and get the bullies to not pick on me anymore. Ok, now that's out of the way. Back to the story.
I grabbed a knife and fitting the urge to kill him, I sliced my forearm and left the house. My ex began to run after me with the guy following with my car keys telling me to take my car. When I got to the street of the apartment complex a cop car pulled up and called for an ambulance. They picked me up and I began to completely break down. I got seven stitches to my forearm. I moved back into my parents, at the time they were stationed in Lima, Peru.
In Peru, I was extremely depressed. I didn't want to be in Peru at all. After learning that I couldn't kill myself, I ran away and slept on the streets for a night until my parents found me. I made the video that really helped me in so many ways.
This was My Suicide Note to everyone, oddly it struck a chord with me and I fell in love with this piece and It brought me back to wanting to live and create Art.
Oh by the way, I learned that the guy never left the house, tried to kill my ex
I saw a video on YouTube "Justin Bieber getting shot for 10 Minutes". I never knew that he was on CSI: Las Vegas. It's been a long while since I've watched an episode, but after learning about that I wanted to make a mash-up video. It's pretty short but I made a drum beat out of the gun shots.
It's pretty fucking shitty but I was inspired by the video down below. Clapping Music, I thought it was pretty cool so I wanted to try and do something like this... I guess.
At American Eagle they have this song that plays on the tv in the back of the store. It's a song about all the jeans at American Eagle. Everyone who works at the store thinks the song sucks and I have to agree. I mentioned how I could make a remix of the song to one of the managers and she said to do it, so I did it.
I drew a version of this on the DS game Art Academy. Kial and I were sitting and waiting for the fireworks to get started in Takoma Park. She pointed out a balloon floating away, up to the sky to never be seen again.
I had a music video cover that Olan Rogers did called The Balloon stuck in my head and also a little sad girl.
while heading home from the subway, I was blasting Sigur Rós and thought of the idea. What if the balloons were her parents? It's sad, I know but so pretty at the same time. But, I always try and find the pretty in sad moments.
Btw, It's so cool that Sigur Rós had a big part of this idea. Thanks Alex for adding the idea of the girl reaching for the balloons.
This is a quick drawing I did after watching a Rowan Atkinson comedy bit on Netflix. Also, this drawing is very good practice, for I've been drawing a comic with Chris.
I've been practicing a lot on drawing and trying to draw new and different things. I feel like I'm not that great of an artist to start a comic and work on the art. It's very difficult, drawing is very hard. Chris said I should draw us has Chibi characters. It wasn't really that hard and I feel like I'm getting the hang of this drawing thing and drawing things from my mind and not copying.
